Won't You Wear A Ring?
by Brandon Payne
Summary: After watching a famous movie, Ika Musume gets another idea of how to conquer the world.


It is late at night and inside of the Aizawa household, Ika Musume and the Aizawa family are watching a famous movie all the way up until its end.

"Wow, so there were other non-humans one time and they had to help humans fight someone trying to conquer them, degeso," Ika Musume said.

"It's just fantasy, it never happened," Eiko said dryly with a furrowed brow and her eyes as solid dots.

"But those humans were only lucky that his ring got destroyed by accident, degeso," Ika Musume stated with a fist pump. "Otherwise, they would have all been wiped out, degeso."

"That's certainly true," Chizuru said. "It was only through sheer luck that the ring got destroyed in the end."

"So humans have only come to dominate the world through luck, degeso!" Ika Musume announced as she shot up onto her feet while pointing straight upward and frowning. "So why should they continue to dominate when they had never earned that right, degeso!"

"Hey, didn't I just tell you that it was all just a fantasy!" Eiko snapped angrily with solid white eyes while rubbing her knuckles into the sides of Ika Musume's head. "It! Never! Happened!"

"That would've been so cool if it did happen!" Takeru said. "History would've been a lot more exciting!"

"It's getting late," Chizuru said. "It's time to go to bed."

That night in Eiko's room, Eiko is sound asleep in her bed. Ika Musume sleeps on a mat on the floor, but the squid girl is awake.

_That movie gives me an idea, degeso. If I can put my will into a bunch of rings and give them to others, then I will dominate the humans and be able to conquer the world, degeso. Now, where to find some rings._ As she strokes her head with two of her tentacles in thought.

The next day, Ika Musume and Eiko are out walking along the street. They pass a jewelry store, before Ika Musume takes notice of the rings on display in the window. Rings of all sorts are on display, some with gemstones and others plain. Ika Musume stares intently at the plain rings.

_Ah, those will be good, degeso_. Then eyes the price on them to see that they cost thousands of yens, causing her to gape with widened eyes. _Whoa, too expensive, degeso! I'm gonna need rings that are much cheaper, degeso!_

"Hey, what're you doing?" Eiko asked, startling Ika Musume.

"Oh ah, n-nothing, degeso," Ika Musume lied in an unconvincing manner as she grins uneasily with closed eyes and sweat dripping off her, then continues walking in the direction they had been going.

But Eiko looks at the rings in the window on display and her brow furrows in suspicion.

They are now at the shopping center where Eiko tells Ika Musume to wait outside and goes inside herself. Moments later, Ika Musume notices a dispenser machine in the classic form of a glass ball attached to a metal pole for a stand. She walks up to it.

"Ah, those will do just fine, degeso!" Upon noticing that it contains several cheap rings that only need a hundred yen coin to get out. "But I have no coins, degeso!" As she grips her own head with her eyes closed in exasperation, then opens them again upon receiving an epiphany. "Maybe I can fish them out using my tentacles, degeso!"

She sticks one of her tentacles up inside the dispenser through that hole and fishes around for a ring.

"Come on, come on, degeso," she said in a hushed but flustered tone while grimacing. Her expression suddenly turns to shock.

"M-My tentacle's stuck!"

She panics and starts pulling.

"Wuah! It's really stuck, degeso!" As she runs around flailing her arms and her tentacle held aloft with the dispenser machine still attached. Her eyes are wide with fright with her pupils and irises now small as tears flow, and she comes to a stop.

"Get off! Get Off, degeso!" As she whips her trapped tentacle around with an intense close eyed expression, wielding the dispenser machine like a dangerous weapon, panicking a crowd of onlookers into screaming and dispersing. That is when she hears both a smashing noise and the sensation of her freed tentacle. She opens her eyes to notice the smashed dispenser on the sidewalk and the rings spilt out. Her eyes go wide with fright as she turns blue around the eyes.

"What the hell?" Eiko screeched from behind her, startling Ika Musume even more, especially with her enraged expression that includes solid white eyes.

"I-It was an accident, degeso!" Ika Musume cried out teary-eyed. "I-I was trying to fish a ring out and my tentacle got stuck, degeso!"

"I'll fish you, you little vandal!" Eiko grated as she ground her knuckles into either side of Ika Musume's head. "We are going to the manager and you'll tell him what you did! And you'll be paying for the damage!"

She drags Ika Musume along by her tentacles, who bellows in both pain and despair.

Later on, they are walking home. This time, Ika Musume is smiling as she is carrying a bag with those rings in them.

"Don't get cocky!" Eiko snapped at her as she raps Ika Musume on the head. "You were only lucky that the manager was going to get rid of that dispenser in the first place!"

"But I still got these rings, degeso."

"Big deal, what're you gonna do with them all?"

"Oh don't worry about that, degeso." Her tone carrying a hint of mischief.

Once at home, Ika Musume removes one of the rings from its plastic case to take a closer look at it. They are plastic with an open end so that they can fit any finger.

"Not very fancy like that ring in the movie," she grumbled. "But they will have to do, degeso. Now then, what humans can I give these to so that I can control them, degeso. But first, how did that ruler get his ring to have that kind of power." As she once again strokes either sides of her head with either tentacle in deep thought, until she opens her eyes in realization.

"Ah ha, that's it! He put his will into the ring by thinking really hard, degeso!"

Ika Musume touches the ring to her forehead and concentrates, grunting in effort. She grimaces with her pupils and irises now shrunken, yet with the blue of her pupils now prominent. Her grunting becomes deeper. Veins pop out on her forehead and she starts gnashing her teeth. Her grunting turns into growling as sweat streams down her face.

"Ugh, th-that should be enough, degeso," she moaned with a weary expression. "This may be harder than I thought, degeso. What I need to do is put a bit of my will into each ring, then put my all into a main ring, just like that ruler in that movie, degeso. This one will be the main ring." As she puts it on, then holds that ring aloft.

And so it goes with Ika Musume taking out each ring and giving them each the same treatment she did with the first one. Albeit not so intently. Afterwards, she stares at her own ring some more.

"Now to put more of my will into it, degeso." And she presses it to her forehead once again, and concentrates to the point of growling with gnashed teeth, veins popping out, and sweat rolling down her face.

"Phew, that should do it, degeso," Ika Musume said while wiping the sweat away.

"Hey, Ika-chan, what are you doing," Takeru, Eiko and Chizuru's littler brother asked from alongside her. He is accompanied by Eiko.

"Ah, Takeru. I have a present for you, degeso." And she gives him one of the rings.

"Ah, thank you for the present, Ika-chan." As he puts it on.

"And one for you, Eiko."

"Wow, that's really generous of you," Eiko said dryly as she slips the ring on.

_Heh, heh, heh! You will now be under my power, degeso! And after I give these rings to the rest, I will dominate the world, degeso!_

Ika Musume later approaches Chizuru at the Lemon and offers her a ring, which she takes with gratitude and without question. Next, she tries to give one to Nagisa.

"Ah, no, no, that's okay," Nagisa answered nervously. _That might be some sort of ring to brainwash me!_

"Hmm, you're right, you don't _need_ one," Ika Musume answered with an emphasis on need.

"Need!" Nagisa asked in a more frightened tone. "Why would I need one!"

"Oops, I said too much already," Ika Musume taunted casually as she turns away.

_I knew it! She did something evil with those rings!_ Nagisa thinks frightfully. _She plans to use them to brainwash the others!_

She also gives one to the lifeguard, Goro.

Against Ika Musume's better judgement, she even gives one to . . .

"Ahh! Ika-chan, you're giving me an engagement ring!" Sanae exclaimed happily as she holds her ringed finger aloft.

"It's not an engagement ring!" Ika Musume yelled. "It's a ring that will dominate you, degeso!"

"Even better!" Sanae squealed louder while lunging to grab Ika Musume, who is quick to spit ink in her face and run. But Sanae is not so easily discouraged and is now in hot pursuit of Ika Musume.

Later, Ika Musume is panting after having lost Sanae. She even approaches the American so-called xenoarcheologists, Cindy, Martin, Clark, and Harris.

"Here is a ring for each of you, degeso" Ika Musume said while handing one to each of them.

"Is it a communication device?" Cindy asked as she slips hers onto one of her fingers.

"It's a very special ring, degeso," Ika Musume answered deviously.

"So it must be a communication device," Harris answered.

"Er, yeah," Ika Musume answered slyly. "It's something like that. Anyway, come on down to the Lemon."

They do just that, with all of those who received a ring down there.

"So what is this all about, Ika-chan?" Eiko asked dryly with a furrowed brow. "And does it have anything to do with these rings you gave us?" Pointing to her own ringed finger.

Ika Musume laughs in a villainous manner (or at least tries to sound villainous).

"You have all fallen into my trap," she answered proudly with folded arms and closed eyes. "For I have . . . a master ring!" As she holds her hand aloft to show off her own ring. "This ring will rule you all!"

Eiko frowns at Ika Musume with half-closed solid white eyes and a large sweat drop. All the others have lazy frowns of disbelief, complete with a large sweat drop.

"Wasn't this what that movie was about last night?" Sanae asked.

"You may be able to conquer math," Eiko growled at Ika Musume, "but you just can't seem to conquer your own stupidity."

"I do have the will to conquer!" Ika Musume shouted as she throws a tantrum of stamping and fist pumping. "I will become the dark lord of Earth!"

"Are you sure, Ika-chan?" Chizuru asked in a musical tone, prompting Ika Musume to stop and look at her.

That is when Chizuru begins to recite, going from her usual soft cheery musical tone and ending in that smooth deep grim icy tone.

"One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them. One ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them."

The others give her uneasy looks, especially Ika Musume. But Chizuru recites something else more slowly. This time her voice goes from that smooth deep icy grimness into an inhuman rasp that grates the ears to hear it. Her normally closed eyes open wide to reveal a blood red gleam and vertically slit pupils wreathed in shimmering flames. Her hair billows upward as if she is standing upon a wind vent blowing strong air. Even though it is a hot and sunny day, it turns cold and pitch-dark. The space around Chizuru warps and billows. And all as she utters the following:

"Ash nazg durbatuluk. Ash nazg gimbatul. Ash nazg thrakatuluk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul."

Upon uttering the last word, Chizuru casually holds up her right hand to show off the ring on her forefinger and the infamous writing glows into appearance.

"At least that is what it went like in that movie," she said in her normal self once again. The change back to normal had been instantaneous.

But for everyone else, it was not so as they now all shiver and gape at her with widened eyes as their pupils and irises are now pinpricks while sweat adorns their heads.

"Sh-She t-truly m-must b-be an a-alien!" Cindy stuttered.

"S-Scary!" Clark exclaimed.

_Chizuru-san! Are you the real threat to humanity and not that Ika Musume!_ Nagisa thought frightfully.

"I-I can't tell if b-big sister is joking or s-serious," Eiko said nervously.

_Chizuru-chan! Are you something that I should fear!_ Goro thought in bewilderment. _Oh my love! I feel so torn!_

Ika Musume's eyes are now solid white with tears streaming down her cheeks like twin rivers as her mouth trembles. She falls to her knees and bows low before Chizuru.

"Chi-Chizuru . . . ! Y-You are . . . the . . . the Lord of the Rings, degeso!"


End file.
